her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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