Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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