Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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