we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
