I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
