Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
