Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
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