Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
