grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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