OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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