At least make sure they are 18
Why
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
