garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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