you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
