What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
