OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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