Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize