would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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