VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
