I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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