yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
