That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
