Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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