um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
