I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
