we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
