Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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