woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
