I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
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You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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