waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
