Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...

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(818): View more from California

Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

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(415): View more from California

this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.

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(360): View more from Washington

He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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(425): View more from Washington

You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap

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(847): View more from Illinois

I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.

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(914): View more from New York

I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in

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(725): View more from

CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis

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