I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize