You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize