Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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