I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
