thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
