Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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