but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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