you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
