if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
