It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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