too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
