He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
