I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
