im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
