first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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