the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
