cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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