i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
