oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
