Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
