Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
