if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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