Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
