God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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