We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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