Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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