We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think people are normalizing furries
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
