Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
