Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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