hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
