i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
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