porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
