One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
