wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
