not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
