he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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