Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
