I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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