plz talk dirty to me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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